Audio Playing NonStop
by AcedeSpades
Summary: Red goes into a depression, tries to kill himself. Curly tries to help him...what happens if he doesn't want to be helped? but what if Curly is all he really needs? *sucky summary i know*
1. Dylan

**Author's Note: I do not own South Park or ANY of the following characters mentioned! They rightfully belong to the imagination and minds of Trey Parker and Matt Stone! This is my first fanfic, so i'm sorry if it's not so good...please review and PM me and tell me what you think. i dont mind creative critism and help with my writing. Let me know if i should write more! THANKS and ENJOY! **

7:28PM

We're all books, and out of all my non-conformist friends, I'm the easiest to read. I'm an open book with a fuckin' live audio thing, always playing with no pause.

I'm transparent.

Predictable.

My room's dark, with music playing...the room smells like vodka and cigarettes.

Up until today…today that all ends. All this…aggravation, all this _**anger**_…will all work in my favour for once. My pain and anger had all built up and reached its boiling point a LONG time ago, but I controlled myself….barely. However today will be unlike any other, today I will act on all of it, and take matters into my own hands. I already knew that they won't miss me, that nobody ever will. I'll just be remembered as that Goth kid who killed himself, but I don't mind because that's just who I've always been. That '_Goth Kid'_, the kid with pock marks, or the '_Red Goth_', but never EVER did anybody ever call me Dylan…that's my name you know. Yet they never seemed to remember, none of the other kids seem to remember who I am.

They just see Goth. They don't see me for me; they just see the clothes, the make-up, the hair, the smoking and coffee, but not **ME**.

I can't take it anymore…I'm alone. Completely alone in a dark and unforgiving world, and what's a teenager to do ALONE in this world? My family doesn't care about me (shock), my so-called bad-ass hardcore non-conformist _friends_ (if they even COUNT as friends) don't notice…they don't care enough to notice. I'm alone, and that's how I'll die, and I don't think I mind now much either. Well, what's a kid to do all on his own, all lonely and shit? Well my friends, I'll tell you: smoke all your cigarettes (check), drink a pot of coffee (check), down a bottle of vodka (check), take a piss and take a shower (check and check), so far so good. Then turn off phones and ringers (check), and then you kill yourself….simple enough.

7:47PM

My music is blasting nonsense and obscenities and I'm bleeding to death slowly yet surely. I smile, 'This feels great', I think to myself while grinning my ass off. Yet then I hear a door open and shut, 'SHIT! Mom and dad aren't supposed to have gotten home yet!' my light-headedness seems to be growing worse by the moment, so I start cutting deeper into my wrists, fucking amazing is how this feels, but I'm also rushing hoping to be gone from this life by the time they get to me. I hear footsteps in the distance, on the staircase, Shit. My knees are growing weak, and my eyes seem to droop, 'yes, I'm going to die…' I smile and giggle, 'Yes.' I cut the deepest cuts yet on both wrists a giant "X" on both, still I'm smiling. I'm finally going to get my lifelong wish and join sweet oblivion, it's about time. I hear footsteps by my door, but it's too late for them to help me anyway, I'm fading away, into sweet nothingness. Tonight I'm about to die alone. I scan my black room, lit only by my candles along my desk, I see my Slipknot, Avenged Sevenfold, and Snow White's Poison Bite band posters around the room. Somebody's in front of my room, turning the handle, my eyes droop finally, and my legs give out.

Finally I'm almost there.

"DYLAN!" I hear someone scream and grab me, but it's too late.

I'm gone. My story is over now, and I was right…I died alone. Minus the person holding me and crying over my dying body. I was wrong after all…somebody will miss me after all.

Now I'm really gone…

'Hello Death. Nice to meet you,' I think as I finally fade into dark, sweet, beautiful nothingness.

7:49PM


	2. Evan

**HEY guys! So here's Chapter DEUX (2)! **

**I do not own South Park or its characters! They all belong to Trey Parker and Matt Stone…not me…those two guys were brilliant with this show and I can't say I own any of this…since I own NONE of the Characters….wow that was confusing… ;) tell me what y'all think! Review please! 3 **

Oh. My. Fucking. GOD. Dylan...  
All I see is his blood, still. Even though it all happened a few days ago all I still see is...his blood. Why? Why would he do that? How were we so blind to miss the signs? Wait...what signs? There were no signs! He didn't seem any different from usual so it was a shock to see him like...oh my god. I panicked. I don't even remember calling an ambulance but I did, and they came and got him.

They said he was still alive at the time, just barely though. They drove away to Hells Pass...such an ironic name for a hospital, and I'm still in shock of it all. I haven't cried, I WON'T cry. Crying is for conformists, and I'm not a conformist, so I can't cry even if I wanted too, but...okay I guess its okay to cry SOMETIMES, but not right now. These aren't tears I swear, but I still can't wrap my head around the fact that Dylan just tried to kill himself and there was so much blood that I was sure he was dead...but he wasn't and I was so happy I actually smiled, and then when I found out that he is STILL alive, I was ecstatic, I skipped yesterday because I was crying besides who needs Junior year for school, right? But I didn't smile when they told me he was alive, smiling and showing emotions for conformists, not Goths, I still can't believe it though...why would Dyl DO something like that? I sigh, 'Wow...he could've told us something was wrong, but why didn't he? What are his parents going to say? HOLY SHIT! What are they going to say? They're gunna kill his skinny ass! He ruined his carpet, and now he's in the hospital...holy shit he's screwed...' I take a drag from my cigarette, "God I miss him..." I mumble to myself. I'm lying here in my bedroom listening to some CD Dylan gave me when we were in 7th grade. 'Stop being so gay!' my brain screams at me, I sigh and can't help but speak out loud to my brain as I mutter, "Shut the HELL UP!"

I wonder if he's had any visitors, I hope so since I don't think he should be alone right now...wait a minute...I should go visit him right now! I mean seriously, there's nothing better to do, I'm SO not doing homework with my condition right now (my condition is loneliness and depression since I just saw my best friend bleeding to death...3 days ago), and plus I think I actually miss the dumb bipolar ass guy right now. Besides I know Henrietta and Georgie haven't visited him since he went to the hospital, so I know that I should be the one to visit him since I mean seriously what kind of friend would I be if I didn't visit my best friend (I REFUSE to say crush since it's not a crush and crushes are for conformists) when he's in this kind of state. Suddenly I smile, and look at my clock 7:43 PM, 'Wonder when visiting hours end. Oh well, they can't keep me out of there tonight. I'm a man with a plan.' I jump up and begin walking out of my house, my brain running wild screaming at me how gay I just sounded..."Well fuck you brain!" I cry out loud, and smirk while I walk out of my house and head over the hospital; I need to get more cigarettes one of these days. It's quite a nice night out so the walk wasn't too bad, just boring since I'm so used to walking everywhere with Dylan right beside me constantly spewing out insane obscenities about school, life, family...and even about the pointless need to live and love. I know it's not my place to be thinking this, plus it's totally meant for conformists, but I honestly think Dylan needs majour help, but then again I've always thought that and made it a point to let him know as well. I sigh, and then notice how close I am to Hell's Pass, 'Well that walk went faster than I had assumed it would.'

After a heated argument with the lady working at the main desk she lets me go and visit Dyl, which was a pretty smart move since I was going to see him either way tonight whether they allowed me in or not. I recheck the room I'm in front of and the room number on my card, -Room #666- it read, 'How ironic' I think to myself, 'They put the suicidal teenager who just failed at it in Room#666...the irony of this world.' I grab the door knob, open the door, and enter the room just to realize that the lights are off...Oops? This is his room, is he sleeping? Is that why they didn't want me going in here? I listen to the silence and hear the light breathing of somebody asleep, yep that's Dylan sleeping, ' I do not watch or listen to him sleep whenever we sleep over one another's houses, I SWEAR!' I tell myself that over and over again just like how I do when we sleepover.  
After my eyes adjust to the lighting I do notice the bed against the other side of the wall with a strangely familiar human appearing figure in the mists of the hospital blankets. I roll my eyes as I realize how it is so like Dylan to manage to get lost in the middle of generic hospital blankets. I look around the room and recognize Dyl's school bag lying against the wall near him, 'He's actually doing his homework? WOW, just wow,' is all I can think to myself. Then as I look around I see his usual boots lying against the wall, I remember how when we were younger he always wore purple boots but not anymore, nope now they're just regular black combat boots. He, unlike the rest of us hasn't changed much physically as much as he has mentally, however his skin's a lot better and he's a lot more attractive then when we were kids (then again elementary school was a bad time for all of us right?), but I never thought he was unattractive but now more and more girls and even bunch of guys are getting interested in him. Yet, Dylan being Dylan, he pays them no mind and tells them to fuck off, I guess he really doesn't believe in love, with this thought I feel my heart drop. 'God damn hormones and feelings,' I think to myself and sigh once more. I take my cane and place it against his bed, just to have it knocked off by Dylan rolling over, thanks buddy, and once it hit the ground with a loud thump…shit. "Meello? Hmmm? Whada ya want?" Dyl all but grows. "Hey dude, sorry for scarin' you," I pipe in to his angry growls. Once he hears me though his head pops up and he looks around like a madman, and while I watch that for about…3 seconds? I smile. Even in a hospital he can STILL be cute somehow (damnit that sounded gay) I sigh, but it's great to see him. He finally turns and sees me, and he looks surprised, "Oh, hey Evan," he grumbles, and I actually chuckle and at that he looks up to me shocked. Then he smiles at me, "How ya been?" he asks curiosity filling his voice. "Pretty good I guess," I reply, 'I'm not about to tell him about how much I missed him…yet.' and I'm still smiling. "Bored I suppose, I'm a bit stuck here, but otherwise fine."

We had spent a while talking until I decided to head home, it's pretty late anyways and I might actually go to school tomorrow. It felt good talking to Dylan again, and I honestly can't wait for him to get outta that place and come back home and everything.  
I still wonder how his parents reacted to the mess in his bedroom, and nobody told him that I was the one who got him help he doesn't even remember...I was slightly offended by that though so I ignored that fact, but then again he currently despises whoever helped him so maybe that's for the best?

Maybe not?

**Coolio guys! thats it so far! Tell me what you think pleazzz!**


	3. Singing's for Conformists

**I do not own these characters, they all belong to the extremely outrageous minds of Matt and Trey. lol I only own that really random character in here...Nurse Sammy.  
**

**I don't own the song either, It belongs to Pierce the Veil (awesome band!) the song is '_Yeah Boy and Doll Face' _Please...ENJOY! 3 3**

"It seems my only form of entertainment for a while is this", I mumble as I continue walking down the hallway. I hate hospitals, especially their hallways, they're totally white and clean, and there's always the constant chatter of the nurses at the nurses station. They say I'm gunna be released soon, thank fuckin god! I've been thinking I'd end up going insane in this place, but they said to my parents that I'll need to see a shrink when I leave here...greeeeat. They think I'm depressed.

Why? I haven't the faintest idea why, and they've been giving me these pills that they say will make me feel better. They lied. These pills don't make me feel better at all, they make me feel sick and lazy actually, plus I wish I'd stop laughing randomly it's really quite unnerving.

_"Were you honest when you said 'I could never leave your bed?'Wake me up and let me know you're alive. And will you fall in love again, Is the scent slowly spreading? I've been answering machines all night."_

They clearly think I'm depressed and suicidal. Just because I tried to kill myself doesn't make me depressed OR suicidal. God they're actin' like I m depressed. I can't help the chuckle that escape my throat and fills the mostly silent hallway. I can still hear the nurses talking about Cindy and her boyfriend Seth who cheated on her with Pam. who the fucks Cindy, Seth, and Pam? Oh Well, it doesn't matter. Hmm I wonder how everybody's doing. I haven't seen Evan however long it's been now since he visited me that one time. I wonder how everybody else is doing; it d be nice if they visited me once in awhile I'm tired of seeing the same old faces, but I won't complain. 'Well not right now at least', I giggle slightly.

_"And are the doctors dancing in While the ambulances sing Another boy without a sharper knife"_

I sing as I walk past a tiny little nurse (Nurse Sammy, as long as I m not fucking up her name again), which reminds me of how god damn happy all of these fucking nurses are! Nurses shouldn't be this happy at work, ESPECIALLY not here in South fucking Park! "Hey Dylan! Where do you think you re goin kid?" an extreamly ecstatic voice calls out. I know that voice shit it s all but Nurse fuckin Sammy. I spin around and look at her and her all but glowing face. If she wasn t so happy (and a nurse) I d probably say she could be attractive, but then again I don t tend to think about people like that so it would be pointless to ever even think like that. If you ask me, asking me if somebody s attractive is like asking a blind person what the sky looks like today (okay maybe that s a bit far fetched but still!).

"Hello? Dylan? Are you listenin to me kid?" I blink myself back to reality and notice the concerned look on Sammy's face. I can t help but scoff at her and her concern. Why bother being concerned for somebody who doesn't want it? , so with that thought in mind I answer her truthfully, Nope, I m not listening to you one bit. Do you know why? Because I honestly Don t Give a Fuck about anything you have to say understand? I show her a smug look, and begin to turn away when she says' "No, I don t understand. Now either answer me, OR, GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM!" In all honesty, I was fucking shocked that Nurse Sammy had some balls, so now she's got my 100% respect...okay 75%. "Okay, okay! Now what were you askin' again?" I ask. I turn around and looking at her directly, and I seriously can't help the fact that I find myself giving her a quick look up and down.

She's actually kinda pretty up close, I'll give her that much, but not by all too much. She's about an inch taller than I am, (so she's about 5 foot 4 not quite tall) and she has reddish brown hair, and the greenest eyes I've ever seen. She has an actually really nice body figure too, skinny but not so much that she's anorexic but more like she's fit, her face is flawless, her skin's perfect and beautiful she seems quite sweet and kind. Okay, now I fucking hate her and her beauty. "I asked you where you were going Dylan," she repeats to me, flashing her flawless, shining white smile. I can't suppress the huff that escapes from me, "Obviously, I'm going for a walk around here, dumbass ." Her smile falters for a mere second before returning as though nothing happened. She giggles at me and with this aggravating, obnoxious voice, "Yeah? I do see, I guess. Mind if I tag along?" I swear to God, is she fucking **RETARDED**?! "No. No you can NOT come along with me. GO TO HELL! And FINE! I'll go back to my room!" I all but yell at her. She gives me this beaten puppy dog look which actually brings about a moment of guilt for me, but since of cours total non-conformist so that feeling doesn't last long. With that I turn my back to her and wander back around to my room, humming as I go. I can t help but chuckle as I realize I've been singing and humming the lyrics to Pierce the Veil songs today seems to be dedicated to Yeah Boy and Doll Face.

_"The moment, that's where I Kill the conversation Wrap this up With a knife that loves to feel How do you know how deep to go before it's real"_

I know that if the rest of the guys see me singing especially here, this song, and just so perfectly. I know I can sing, never doubted I could, but I don't like to since it is a totally conformist thing to do but then again I guess trying to off yourself and failing nonetheless is also. Damn guess I've really screwed the pooch on this one.

I know I'm smiling, but can you blame me? I'm pretty sure they've put me on enough drugs here to kill an elephant, but instead of killing me the pills make me so so so happy, and so...light! That's something I haven't been for years, but I can't stand it.

_"Take me home Can I even complicate your breathing?_  
_I guess I'm just your average boy This is me with a knife in the back And a grip on the grass It's cold and I don't want to be here I guess I'm never comfortable or situational"_

I always hated feelings. That's why I've been bottling them up inside. They make you weak, vulnerable, and I hate being vulnerable. By being that, you're just like everybody else. You're just like everybody else which is what I stand against while being a non-conformist.

_"Are we losing or beginning To try a new life without you?"_

I mean seriously, what's the point of feeling, if you only somehow end up hurting in the end? Why love, when the one you love will most likely love someone else or not even love at all GOD DAMNIT! Stop thinking about him or anybody like that for that matter shit...I just put myself in an awkward situation...I need to sleep for a month. Or maybe forever...  
Damn.

**2 Days Later:**

It's about time I get to go home I mutter to myself. Of course I m not talking to anybody else since my parents are wow. Already out of the hospital. Great. I've basically spent almost 2 weeks in a goddamn hospital I never liked them much to begin with, but now I at least know Hell's Pass Hospital inside and out I'm sad to say. They wouldn't let me leave a while go when I was fine, but let me leave now meanwhile I'm pretty sure midterms are coming up, and big projects to do because COME ON we all know teachers just love to give huge heavily weighed projects when midterms and finals begin coming up.

Plus from now on I need to visit a shrink (a fucking shrink!) and most likely get meds from now on great. Just fucking great. I was seeing the psychiatrist in the hospital and have some crazy pills, but not for long term. Apparently Mother and Father already have an appointment made for me with some good shrink guydude. Then they started complaining about how I need to stop with the cries for attention because the guydudeshrinkman is apparently quite expensive like I give a flying fuck.

By the time I get outside to the parking lot I realize my parents aren't here anymore...GODDAMNIT! THEY LEFT ME!

Oh well...fuck them, I wanted to walk anyways besides it's only a 40 some odd minute walk...shiiit. It doesn't help the situation that I still have that FUCKING song stuck in my head I must sound like a goddamned broken record the way I've been sing the song over and over and over again plus I can t seem to stop laughing. As if on cue a shrill chuckle seems to escape my lips. Great this is going to majourly fucking suck ass.

_"The moment that's where I, Kill the conversation, wrap this up With a lie that I'm enjoying every minute with myself,_  
_And she could make hell feel just like home. So I'm never leaving her alone But if your lightning lips aren't mine, Then I don't know the awkward stranger to my right But she's crying."_

I'm really starting to hate this song, but it's so...right? Right in a way I just can't explain it.  
Laughing now I'm laughing AGAIN!

_"I only need one hand to drive, When you're with me You are my getaway, Oh, no!"_

JESUS! I swear if the rest of the guys saw me they d be probably really ashamed probably. I pause for a moment regaining my breath for the next lines, but then I hear the light, distant 'clunk, clunk'. Hm...I know that sound, that's a cane...wait. Cane. South Park. Cane...cane..cane. OH DAMN! I spin around smirking because I know I'll be looking at my best friend (damn that was conformist).

"Evan." I say, smiling a cool, neutral smile. He arches an eyebrow at my smile (I'm that that's why), "Hello Dylan...when did they let you out?" he asks, his voice forever that low, deep monotone voice. "Oh you know...today, yesterday, tomorrow..." I honestly don't know what possessed me to say that, or why I started laughing after saying it. Jesus FUCKING Christ...I hate doctors its all their fault I SWEAR. A few seconds after laughing, I look at Evan and notice he looks really surprised and a bit confused too, but I don't blame him at all. "Um...sorry. Uh, look I gotta go. Bye Ev, I'll see you around!" I call out as I start running off in the direction of my house.

Well, FUCK. I just managed to embarrass myself in front of one of my closest friends, and run off like a little bitch. Well nice going Dylan...smooth.

_And don't you ever feel alone? And don't you wish you were home?_  
_Cut the lust tonight; all right, all right Tell me why my little Mona Lisa told a lie, lie, lie, lie Do you want me? Do you want to let me know that you're okay?_  
_A diamond gold ring customized to cut your circulation But I couldn't let you go; no, I'd never let you go my dear So keep talking 'cause I love to hear your voice (Love to hear your voice, love to hear your...)_  
_Voice again_

POV:Evan;

Wow...what the hell was that all about? He just ran off, after laughing...wow. Laughing. "Weird..." Wait...and he was singing. Since when did Dylan sing?

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**I hope you liked it! Please Review! I like to know wht y'all think, constructive critism (im a bad speller...) is welcomed. And I'm sorry for the delayed update, schools so aggravating with all the projects ontop of one another...  
Anywayz Please Review!**


	4. Nothing Else but Confusion

**The**  
**Next Day(the day after Dylan's hospital**  
**release)**

**Evan:**

"Dylan! ANSWER YOUR GODDAMN PHONE!" I yell into the receiver. But he's yet to answer, but I don't know WHY! I can't tell if I've done something wrong or what. The last time I've seen anything about him was back when he was just released from the hospital...Damn, I sound like a little bitch when I carry on like that, even if it's only in my head. At lease it's in my head so nobody hears how much of a conformist bitch I really am...I let out a soft, defeated sigh, "God damn it Dylan...what are you up too? How do you manage to do this to me?"

'God damn...I am so stupid. So very, very stupid.'  
I couldn't stop myself from walking out of my house, and toward Dylan's house. If he answered his phone or texts I would NOT be doing this. I wish I could actually make myself believe that, just like how I wish I could turn around and walk back to my house but I can't  
do that. I NEED to see my friend, and hell, I was so quick to leave I forgot my  
damn cane. I mean, SERIOUSLY? GODDAMNIT!

I remember back in elementary school when Dylan and I first found my original one, then when Stan Marsh became one of us and I gave him my cane, I honestly thought Dyl would flip the shit as soon as he was far away enough. Then a couple of years ago Dylan gave me my new cane since I kinda outgrew the last one, and he was so embarrassed when he gave it to me, it was kinda cute...damn-it I referred to him as cute...again.

I still can't figure out why he ran away from me yesterday, and him avoiding my calls isn't helping. I just hope he's not doing anything to stupid, because the last time he went off on me like that...I shudder at that passing thought.

It's early evening now, and the temperature slowly dropping. The fact just hits me that Dylan and I live on opposite sides of South Park...fuck my life.

I remember all the times Dyl and I would just sit around anywhere that seemed good at the moment and talk, about nothing important most  
times.

To him, it probably most likely meant nothing, but to me...it meant a lot actually. It meant somebody actually cared about me, and he's always been my closest friend, and I DO actually care about him even if it didn't always seem that way.

I have always cared...even when we were kids in elementary school. I always knew he'd be there, even if he won't admit to it, and I always thought he cared.

Maybe I had it all wrong. Maybe he never really cared as much as I thought he did. If he did, then he wouldn't have tried to kill himself, right? He would have asked me for help...because even though we don't want to care...we do. Deep down inside we all do care about each other, just like family. Maybe...maybe more than family.

No, no. I can't keep doing that to myself.

Do what though?

Make myself think he might actually feel the same? He's never done anything that should have led me on, so why do I always read into everything? Dyl's always been the same, he never changes…much. He always got the same bored ass look on his face like he's got somewhere better to be, or maybe he might look a little interested in something, but never really...me, so what gave me the idea that he might maybe like me? Fuck. My. Life.

**_Dylan_**:

Shit. I've been mad tired ever since I woke up in the hospital. Must be my meds, cause I always thought I was an insomniac…AND who the hell keeps calling? Oh. It's Evan, if I'd known it's been him calling, I would've actually answered the phone...well maybe.

With that thought I drop myself back upon my bed. If whatever Evan had to say was so important he would have stopped by...right? Well maybe not.

I really need to stop worrying about everything so much before I end up like Tweek...crazy son of a bitch.

I know I shouldn't care about him...honestly I truly do know that, but I can't help myself. I can't remember ever really feeling like this about anything or anyone before so I can't help but figure it's the medications doing this to me.

It can't be anything else...can it?


End file.
